I usually spend a few moments each day scrolling through social media feeds and interacting with colleagues in the dance education industry. I have entered into discussions that have be enlightening, supportive and engaging. I have made some professional contacts that have proven to be invaluable. And, sadly, I have repeatedly come across trends that I find worrisome.

Apparently, it is becoming common place for students, and sometimes their parents, to complain when casting for a performance proves to be disappointing. The complaints are often accompanied by a threat to leave r drop -out if something is not done to address the complaint in some sort of satisfactory manner.

I am now in my 60’s and I would like to share an experience that I had in the 9th grade. My High School was starting preparations for the school musical. A group of students (myself included) volunteered to work on certain pre-production projects. After several weeks of working with these kids and the director, auditions were held. I was not cast in a role. In fact, I was the only kid who had worked pre-production who was not cast in a role. I was very upset. I came home from school and told my mother what had transpired. Her response:

“Well, that’s a shame but you aren’t always going to get what you want!”

I think that most parents today would find that terribly harsh. But guess what?: I don’t always get what I want. And I deal with that every day.

I have had many professional disappointments. There were many shows that I wanted for which I wasn’t cast. There were endless auditions in NYC where I found myself in the alley with the rest of the dancers who were cut. And with respect to teaching, there are many, many, MANY schools to which I applied that did not hire me. And even at the schools where I teach, and feel valued, and am happy, I don’t always get assigned the classes that I want, and sometimes I don’t get assigned enough classes at all.

And I deal with it.

Because I learned from an early age that I won’t always get what I want.

And all these decades later I am still in this industry. And I teach at some pretty great schools. And I love every minute of it. And that is because it was instilled in me that even if I don’t get what I want, I should still keep working; still keep trying. So I worked, and I tried, and I kept my eye on the target: becoming the best dancer that I could be.

And I don’t have tons of happy memories of being “the star” because most of the time I wasn’t. And I never complained. And my parents certainly never complained on my behalf. And although I don’t have THOSE happy memories, I do have a career (and a pretty great one) because I understood that I wouldn’t always get what I wanted. And I kept working anyway.

I teach a lot of college students who were parented with this above mentioned sense of entitlement and self-worth and they seem to be doomed to failure as adults. They too will often complain vehemently about casting decisions that disappoint them. But what is even more worrisome is that they are complaining about faculty members that they “don’t like”. I’m not talking about inept, inadequate or abusive teachers. I’m talking about teachers that students simply, for whatever reason, don’t like. And they expect something to be done about it. I recently learned that a conservatory program in New York has let three teachers go in the last year, simply because students have complained about them. I have also heard about conservatory programs changing schedules and hours of operation to accommodate student requests to “not come in so early” or “not have to go to school every day”. And what are these students being taught? They are being taught that they have some sort of right to always be comfortable and happy. They are being taught that their bad behavior has no negative consequences. They are being taught that they will always get they want.

Now, clearly there are students who don’t fall into this category. There are still many hardworking, dedicated students and I am fortunate to get to help guide them into their futures.

But what of the ever-growing number of students that do fit the mold that I find so worrisome? They graduate from college and they are still children. They roll into their mid 20’s and they still act and think like children. They have failures as adults and they react like children.

I recently found out that a former student who exhibited all of these problematic behaviors was fired from their first professional performing contract.

Worrisome.